Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
