Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
