She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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