As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
