Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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