I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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