My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
