I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
