I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
