I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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