i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
