There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
