I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
