Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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