sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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