So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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