we have pet lesbian snakes
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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