HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
