at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
