Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
