if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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