bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
