Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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