Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
