I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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