its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
