So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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