i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize