Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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