I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
