Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
