Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
