Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
