somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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