All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
