I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
