talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
