Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
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