Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize