before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize