And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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