Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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