Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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