i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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