She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
