i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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