wat bout pragnant strippers??
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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