i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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