Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
