Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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