I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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