I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
