whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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