i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
