I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
