Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
