I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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